You have reached the General Biology

“I-missed-Class / the-Test” Hotline :

* To be reenrolled in this General Biology Class next semester - Press 1  

* To beg for a grade other than “ F ” on your next test - Press 2  

* To recommend your permanent replacement in this class - Press 3  

* For instructions on how to properly say “ Do you want fries with that ? ” - Press 4  

* For “ minimum wage ” job openings - Press 5  

* For an “ all expenses paid ” trip by the military to scenic Afghanistan- Press 6  

* Otherwise please stay on the line to talk to an Operator / the Professor about signing up for the “ Comprehensive Final ”